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Stop for a moment and think about this: there are approximately 6.5 billion people in the world today. That’s a lot of people! And the fact is, there is only one of you, just one amazing, unique individual! So no one else looks like you, sounds like you or thinks like you. Every day that you wake up, you have the opportunity to give the world something new, exciting and very unique. Your perspective on the world! What do I mean by that? Well if you are unique, then your ideas and thoughts are unique too. You look at the world in a different way and you have your own distinct opinions and beliefs.
When someone comes to us as coaches to help them to change their world, it is our opportunity and honour to be allowed into their personal world. Because we are all so different, we can use our uniqueness to come up with questions and scenarios to put to our clients. This allows us to encourage our clients to go deep within themselves to find something new: a new idea, a new concept, a new way of looking at a problem, a new way of challenging their beliefs, and new ways to move forward.
Something new doesn’t always have to involve throwing away the old. It can simply be looking at it from a different angle. Turn the negative view into a positive one, alter a thought slightly, question tolerations, question your path, and look at life from another viewpoint. Doing this can have an amazingly powerful effect on a client. They realise that the answer has been there all the time, covered by life!
I had an example of this recently. I had 2 clients who were on the “road to disaster”, as they put it. They were in business for over 20 years and married for just as long. Their business was going downhill fast, as they had borrowed too much, expanded too quickly and the pressure was driving a wedge between them. They thought it was time to throw in the towel, they thought they both wanted different things but decided to explore it all through coaching first. They wanted to move forward, they were stuck and this was their last chance.
I met them separately over a couple of months. This was a new experience for me; I’d never worked with a couple before. This was also a new experience for them. They’d never shared their thoughts or worries with anyone else before.
But a wonderful thing happened.
By separating and speaking to me I was able to see that they had just stopped being a couple; they had become business partners, colleagues, acquaintances almost. They had stopped sharing their thoughts, their ambitions, their values, their beliefs… They had stopped communicating on a deeper level. And though this was very sad, it was also transformational. I was able to see that they actually had the same worries, the same ambition, the same drive, and that they both missed each other.
So I tried something new. I asked each of them if we could have a joint session and if I could share what I’d seen and heard from both meetings, they agreed and we met.
How they laughed! It was like the air had been let out of a balloon full of stress. They realised that they were both actually on the same track, shared the same mindset and were desperate to be the couple they once were. So a lovely thing happened. They started to talk to each other, they shared the stress, so it reduced. They shared the workload, so that reduced. They realised that they both had talents that they weren’t using. He was great at managing money. She was a powerful people manager. So they started using these skills, put a new plan in place, and the business is now on the road to recovery. It’s slow and it’s not easy but by both bringing something new to the table, they realise that there is a way forward after all.
By going outside my comfort zone and trying something new, I too gained from that experience. I can do more than I thought. Coaching never fails to amaze me; and people really do have all the answers within themselves.
So, go and try something new this month, bet you’ll surprise yourself too!
Angela Brophy
Hello, I'm Angela Brophy and I am an Advanced and Accredited Executive, Life & Career Coach. I am a Member of both the International Coaching Federation (ICF) and the European Coaching & Mentoring Association (EMCC). I have over 20 Years Experience in the world of Business and Financial Services and I have a passion for Coaching and Personal Development. I want my clients to succeed in every way and to achieve their Perfect Lifestyle.